Happy New Year's Eve Day

We made it to CO. The kids were great on the long drive and we're now crashing at a friends house, either for the next several weeks until our furniture shows up or until we wear out our welcome. Whichever comes first...

I had an appointment yesterday with my old hair stylist and she was thoroughly appalled at what was going on on my head! She fixed me up and I'm starting to feel a little bit more like myself again.

Hope you're all enjoying a wonderful time with your families and I pray that God has many blessings in store for you for 2010.

MERRY CHRISTMAS!

We're here in So. Cal spending a wonderful day with family. The kids are enjoying playing with their cousins and I'm enjoying laying around in my jammies. My sister is taking lots of pictures, so hopefully I'll get a chance to put those up soon.

Hope you're all enjoying this day, celebrating the birth of our Savior.

last day of school

I'm taking a quick little break from the whirlwind of chaos we have going on here. Thought I'd share a few pictures of the last day of school.

Kate and two of her little friends.

They are so sweet together & very sad to see Kate go.

Kate & her buddy Bailey.

Mark and some of his buds.

Adam's friends threw him a going away party, which was very sweet.

I don't think he really minded that only one other boy showed up.

Gregory was not interested in being in any pictures that day, so there you have it. We got a couple cute pictures this morning at church so I'll have to get those up here one of these days.

We're loading the car tonight and tomorrow morning and the plan is to leave the 'ville around noon on Monday. We'll see...

So in case I don't get a chance to post again for a while (which is nothing new around here)...

MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!

quick update

I've been wanting to post something for a while now, but wanted pictures and haven't had any. Now I've got some, (they're not too good, but they're pictures nonetheless) but they're on the computer that I'm not on right now. BUT, I decided to post a quick update anyway.

Things here are uber crazy. Yes, I said uber and I mean it with a capital U! We're trying to pack boxes to move, finish up laundry so that we can pack for a week in So. Cal and then packing to live out of suitcases for three-ish weeks in CO, and on and on the list goes. We've had a week of finals for Ron and the two older boys, parties galore in all the kids classes, trying to cram in time spent with new friends and saying lots of goodbyes that have been much harder than I ever would have imagined.

I'm so thankful that God has given me the opportunity to make some wonderful new friends, but very disappointed to have to leave them so soon. There sure is a lot going on here that makes zero sense to me, but I'm trusting in the Lord that His way is best.

"He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High

will rest in the shadow of the Almight.

I will say of the LORD, "He is my refuge

and my fortress,

my God, in whom I trust."

Psalm 91:1-2

fun times for a great cause

These girls have started their party so head on over and join the fun!

Just go here and check it out.

just for fun

Christmas Questions...

1. Wrapping paper or gift bags? Both, although I always prefer wrapping paper and usually only use gift bags for odd shaped gifts. Or if I'm in a hurry.

2. Real tree or artificial? Real. Or none as is the case this year.

3. When do you put up the tree? Usually the first or second weekend of December.

4. When do you take the tree down? Several days after New Years or when it's dead. Whichever comes first.

5. Do you like eggnog?

A little bit, warmed up with nutmeg sprinkled on top.

6. Favorite gift received as a child? Western Barbie with the horse, jeep and trailer

7. Hardest person to buy for? My father in law

8. Easiest person to buy for? My daughter.

9. Do you have a nativity scene? Yes, a couple.

10. Mail or email Christmas cards? This year, neither. I was going to email them, but it's not going to happen.

11. Worst Christmas gift you ever received? Hmmm... I'd rather not say.

12. Favorite Christmas Movie? Elf and The Holiday

13. When do you start shopping for Christmas? As soon as I start seeing things that will make good gifts.

14. Have you ever recycled a Christmas present? I don't think so, but I don't trust my memory. I'm not opposed to it!

15. Favorite thing to eat at Christmas? My mom's Swedish Cardamom bread.

16. Lights on the tree? Absolutely!

17. Favorite Christmas song? I love almost all Christmas music and would listen to it year round if my husband and first born would let me.

18. Travel at Christmas or stay home? We usually stay home, but this year we're traveling.

19. Can you name all of Santa's reindeer's?

Dasher and Dancer and Prancer and Vixen. Comet and Cupid and Donner and Blitzen. And the most amazing reindeer of all... is Rudolph the Red Nose Reindeer... yes, I had to sing it while I was typing it.

20. Angel on the tree top or a star? We've had both. It's been a star the last couple of years.

21. Open the presents Christmas Eve or morning? The kids each get to open one gift on Christmas Eve and it's always new pajamas. Then everything else is Christmas morning.

22. Most annoying thing about this time of the year? The whole PC thing about not saying CHRISTmas. It's just dumb and wrong.

23. Favorite ornament ? I love just about every single one that we have.

24. Do you make Christmas cookies ? Yes, some years. Not this year though.

25. What do you want for Christmas this year ? Safe travels, peace on earth, and a Kindle. :)

Now it's your turn. Just copy and paste this into the comments section. Delete my answers and put in yours.

SO cool!

You need to check out what these ladies have pulled together.

It is so awesome!

Go here to join in the awesomeness.

Breaking Free

For the past ten weeks I have been doing the Beth Moore bible study Breaking Free. It is probably the best study I have ever done. I'm sure part of that is because God knew it was what I needed during this season, but it also has challenged me in ways I've never been challenged before. It has been amazing and difficult all at the same time.

There have been many times I've wanted to share parts of the study, what I've learned, things Beth Moore said, but everything seemed kind of pulled out context when I would start to share just one part it. But this morning, as I was going over this last weeks homework, I read again two different parts that I had underlined and really wanted to share them. They're a little long, so bear with me. It's worth it!

"I believe God can use any motivation to get us into His Word and into prayer, but then I believe He wants to refine our motivations until they become first and foremost the desire for Him. My motivation for Bible study and prayer could still be all about me. Fix my circumstances, Lord. Use me powerfully, Lord. Direct me in obvious ways today, Lord. Make a way for me, Lord. Make me successful, Lord. Listen carefully: not one of those prayers is wrong. But if my motivation for my relationship with God is what He can do for me, a lust for His power may grow but a yearning for His Presence will not. God deeply desires to hear our petitions, but His greatest joy is to hear them flow from the mouths of those who want Him more than anything else He could give."

I don't know about you, but that hit me upside the head like a ton of bricks. If there's one thing that I continually have felt like God has been trying to tell me over the last 2 1/2 years, is that it's not about me. So many times I have prayed for Him to deliver me, guide me, make my life comfortable again, etc. and very, very few times have I just sought Him. Period. And isn't that really what so much of this life is all about?

This next part was another one of those things that I really needed to hear right now and am trying to stay focused on. Hopefully the point gets across, as I'm pulling it from a larger concept...

"Isaiah 40:31 offers the perfect prescription for former captives who sometimes get tired in their struggle to maintain freedom: Seek the presence of God and hang on to Him. Go where He goes and let Him fight for you. Invariably when we're most exhausted, we'll find we're expending more energy fighting the enemy than we are seeking God's presence. More than you seek to win, seek Christ! More than you seek to defeat the enemy, seek his Foe! More than you seek victory, seek the Victor! As you do, you are binding yourself to His presence and trusting God to carry you onto victory. You'll never be more beautiful to God than we He can look down and see you hanging on to Him for dear life!"

I had a very sweet and encouraging conversation with Kate's teacher yesterday where she reminded me that God never makes mistakes, He knows what He's doing and He absolutely can be trusted. We may never know why we were moved here for such a relatively short period of time, and we may never know the lives that were touched and the things that God accomplished through it. But as I step back, I am able to see lots of little things that I am so thankful for, and being a part of this Bible study the past ten weeks is definitely one of those things.

"Do you not know?

Have you not heard?

The Lord is the everlasting God,

the Creator of the ends of the earth.

He will not grow tired or weary,

and His understanding no one can fathom.

He gives strength to the weary

and increases the power of the weak.

Even youths grow tired and weary,

and young men stumble and fall;

but those who hope in the Lord

will renew their strength.

They will soar on wings like eagles;

they will run and not grow weary,

they will walk and not be faint."

Isaiah 40:28-31

I SPY: BROWN

I've been wanting to do this I Spy thing that I've seen on several other blogs, but just never got around to it. But today, I thought I'd have at it and snap some pictures around my house.

Have a very Happy Thanksgiving!!!

I started Christmas shopping

Go check out this

and this

and then start your Christmas shopping as well.

"The King will reply, 'I tell you the truth, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me.' " Matthew 25:40

MIA, part 2

more pictures of the goings on around here...

The school has a "Country Fair" every year as their big fundraiser. There were all kinds of games, food, prizes, etc. The kids had a great time. Here's Mark with his war paint.

Kate catching a donut. Her favorite game of the night.

Kate, a root beer float, and a friend, makes for one happy girl!

It was really windy for a couple days and this is how I found the wagon one morning. So glad I caught it before it was at the bottom of the pool!

I went along with Gregory's class on a field trip to see the King Tut exhibit at a museum downtown San Francisco.

That's all for now.

Happy November 1st!

MIA

Well, for the whopping two of you that read this little blog, I apologize for having posted nothing new in so long. We've been settling in to our new routine/life here and as Solomon says, "...there is nothing new under the sun." (Ecc. 1:9)

The kids are doing well in school, getting used to all the new rules and making new friends. Ron is back in his role of Mr. Moulton, math teacher to be feared, using the gifts God has blessed him with. And I'm still trying to catch up on laundry, organize cupboards, and enjoying my Friday morning bible study.

Here are some pictures of a few of things we've been up to...

Ron, Adam, & Gregory drove south for a USC football game.

Then another weekend it was Mark's turn to go.

Ron and Adam went to the Rock of Ages concert in Calistoga and saw Christafari as well as other bands. They went with a group of people from our church and had a great day. This is Adam and Mark Mohr from Christafari. I've known Mark since we were 8, so it's kind of funny for me to see him with dreds and to hear him singing reggae on his CD's. Very cool to see what God is doing through him though!

VCS (Ron and the kids school) has a sister school downtown San Francisco and Ron and Gregory went down there for a work day to help get the building in better shape for the students down there.

More pictures to come in another post...

saturday

The cats sure enjoyed having Gregory home sick all week. Poor guy. He's finally starting to feel a little better. And according to the doctor, he's just fine. Go figure! I'm very thankful to know that all his lab work came back normal and all the things that I thought it was, aren't. But at the same time it's really frustrating to not have any explanation for what's going on with him. Another opportunity to trust in the Lord...

Ron and Adam are in Calistoga for the day at the Rock of Ages festival and I'm taking Gregory, Mark and Kate to see Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs. Gotta love laid back Saturdays!

My friend Keri sent me this picture that she had taken of Ron and I when she and her husband were out visiting this summer.

That's Napa Valley behind us. Well, some of it anyway. It's just gorgeous!

And despite the fact that I look totally pregnant in this picture, I thought I'd share it with you anyway.

Looking at it makes me realize how rare a picture of Ron and I together is. We'll have to get better about that, babe. Especially now that we have perfectly capable photographers hanging around with us all the time.

my boy and a prayer request

UPDATE: After several glitches, the appointment went well, the doctor listened to all that I had to say, and then he sent us to the lab for a full work up and said he'd call in the next several days to let me know what he finds. Praise the Lord!

Mommy & Gregory

Gregory has not felt well for probably the last four years. It comes and goes and is just kind of this vague, underlying yuckiness. We've got a doctor's appointment this afternoon and I'm praying that the doctor would listen. That he would take me seriously and be willing to get to the bottom of this. It might be nothing. But I need to know for sure and I need Gregory to feel better. Please pray for wisdom and discernment for the doctor and for me to speak clearly and explain things well.

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart

and lean not on your own understanding;

in all your ways acknowledge Him,

and He will make your paths straight."

Proverbs 3:5-6

monday fun-day

Trying to make the most of cleaning day.

I will be blasting this through my house and will enjoy every minute of it!

Here's to a new week! Enjoy...

"The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases;

His mercies never come to an end;

they are new every morning;

great is Your faithfulness."

Lamentations 3:22-23

library tour

When I was growing up I almost always had my nose in a book. I loved to read! Still do. Every now and then I'd read a book that at some point mentioned there being a library in the house. I always thought that would be the coolest thing. I dreamed of growing up and some day having a library of my own in my house. Well, that hasn't happened, most likely won't happen, and honestly, at this point, I wouldn't want to dust all those books.

But back to being a little girl. If I had just had the creativity back then of a certain seven year old boy that I'm honored to call my son, I could have, in fact, had my very own library in my house.

And for most of last week, I had just that.

Welcome to the Library

If you're just learning how to read, here is the "esey to read" section.

Interesting movie selection at this library...

Chapter Books

The best kind of "storis"

This cracks me up. Because the other sections weren't fiction?

This one took me a minute to figure out. LOVE IT!!!

And every good library should have a cat, curled up in the corner, sound asleep.

FYI

You need to check this out. Too cool!

I asked a friend once if she knew how much it costs to get Polaroid film developed. (Yes, I really am a blonde.)

Thanks to rollip, it just doesn't matter any more.

snow day

UPDATE: No snow. Bummer.

So, I hear that Fort Collins is supposed to get snow some time in the next 24 hours. I've got a favor to ask all of you, my dear friends that I miss so much, will you please take pictures and send them to me? PLEASE???

For the five years that we lived there, I always took a picture of the first snow. I know I'm weird, but hey, it's why you love me, right? Don't answer that...

Anyway, I would love to see some snow pictures. You can email them or snail mail them, I don't care, I would just love to see some snow right about now.

Especially since it's over 100 degrees here. We're sweatin' like pigs.

But I guess we can't complain about getting to do this after school...

the cross

"Whosoever will come after Me,

let him deny himself,

and take up his cross,

and follow Me."

Mark 8:34

Since I don't seem to have any of my own words these days, I thought I'd share the devotion that I read yesterday in Streams in the Desert. It was so good that I read it again today. It's one of those that I should probably read everyday...

The cross which my Lord bids me take up and carry may assume different shapes. I may have to content myself with a lowly and narrow sphere, when I feel that I have capacities for much highter work. I may have to go on cultivating year after year, a field which seems to yield me no harvests whatsoever. I may be bidden to cherish kind and loving thoughts about someone who has wronged me- be bidden speak to him tenderly, and take his part against all who oppose him, and crown him with sympathy and succor. I may have to confess my Master amongst those who do not wish to be reminded of Him and His claims. I may be called to "move among my race, and show a glorious morning face," when my heart is breaking.

There are many crosses, and every one of them is sore and heavy. None of them is likely to be sought out by me of my own accord. But never is Jesus so near me as when I lift my cross, and lay it submissively on my shoulder, and give it the welcome of a patient and unmurmuring spirit.

He draws close, to ripen my wisdom, to deepen my peace, to increase my courage, to augment my power to be of use to others, through the very experience which is so grievous and distressing, and then- as I read on the seal of one of those Scottish Covenanters whom the Claverhouse imprisoned on the lonely Bass, with the sea surging and sobbing round- I grow under the load.

Alexander Smellie

FIGHT ON!

Well folks, college football season in this house officially starts this weekend. We're packing up the car and heading south for the first USC home game of the 2009 season.

Watch out for this guy...

Hope you all have a wonderful Labor Day weekend!

Beat the Spartans!

doing our part

Every year the kids bring home the notice from school about collecting box tops to raise money for the school. I'm all for helping the school raise money, but we just don't buy much of anything that has the box tops coupon on them.

Well, thanks to Costco and their cases of Ziploc baggies, we're good to go!

(And a box of Hefty bags for good measure.)

Here's to hoping I didn't cut through any of the baggies in the process...

congratulations Kate!

Each week at chapel a teacher picks one child in his or her class to give a chapel award to. It's a pretty big deal of course, so I was so proud of Kate that she received one yesterday. Especially the first week of school. And then when I found out what she got it for, it brought tears to my eyes.

"For making a great adjustment to a new school".

I could really stand to learn from her example of having that child-likeness that just falls right in to a new situation and has fun with it and "makes a great adjustment". Mom's not doing a very good job with that lately. Too many tears, too much missing friends and things that are familiar.

But I am so thankful that God is here with me, He knows how I'm feeling and He wants me to just continue to lean on Him and run to Him. And I am very, very thankful that the kids seem to be adjusting quite well. I'd much rather be the one struggling than them.

"Every word of God is flawless;

He is a shield to those who take refuge in Him."

Proverbs 30:5

"My soul finds rest in God alone;

my salvation comes from Him.

He alone is my rock and my salvation;

He is my fortress, I will never be shaken."

Psalm 62:1-2

seriously?!

This was at Costco today. I mean come on! I haven't even wrapped (no pun intended) my brain around the fact that summer is almost over. And with the temps being in the high 90's and low 100's around here, summer isn't ending any time soon, thank you very much!

the little things

You know in the movie Bambi when Thumper says that his mom taught him "If you don't have anything nice to say, then don't say anything at all"? Well, that's why it's been a little quiet around here lately...

But, I've been trying to focus on the positives, the blessings, the things that make me smile, the little things. So here are a few, some accompanied with less that stellar photographs.

::I went for a run today and actually lasted 20 minutes. That's huge for me. I learned that Thousand Foot Krutch is great music to run to. Thanks Adam, for putting that on my iPod.

::On Friday evening, Mark decided he wanted to make an art gallery. He put some classical music in his CD player, pulled out his water colors and painted the 'Monkey Lisa'. How can you not smile at that?

::I got to make a new friend an iced latte. Like I said, it's the little things that make me happy.

::This verse... "Humble yourselves, therefore, under God's mighty hand, that He may lift you up in due time. Cast all your anxiety on Him because He cares for you." 1 Peter 5:6-7 There is so much here, but the two things that I really needed to focus on this week were my need to humble myself before the Lord in regards to all that I've got going on in my heart, and that He cares for me. He really and truly cares for me! And you!

::It might be little, but it's so nice to have a pool in the backyard to cool off in when it's 103 degrees outside. UGH!

::I get to go grocery shopping at Trader Joe's and buy yummy dark chocolate covered almonds and drink free coffee.

first day of school

Can you tell which one wasn't too happy to be heading off to school this morning?

speaking of change...

Sometimes when we change things, they don't end up looking the way we thought they would.

change

So I've learned something about myself the last couple months.

I love change... that I can control.

Like changing the background on my blog way too often. :)

I've always said that I thrive on change. I've always loved to move, explore new places, meet new people, etc. I realized that all the times I've done that in the past, it's been because I chose to be doing that at that time. This time, it was chosen for me. It was most definitely not what I wanted right now and not what I thought was best.

I'm so thankful for the last several weeks of the Lord softening my heart and continually putting me at peace and bringing me things to remind me that He knows best and that He is in control of the change. This has been a difficult season for sure, but I've grown much closer to Him and I wouldn't change that for anything.

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord,

plans to prosper you and not to harm you..."

Jeremiah 29:11

He knows best, and while it isn't always easy or enjoyable, His intentions are not to harm me, and there is so much comfort in that.

baptism and blessings

One of the things that I was not looking forward to about leaving Fort Collins and moving to CA was how congested everything here is. I loved the wide open spaces that were so easily accessible to me in FC.

Well, of course God knows that. He knows my heart and it's desires. So guess what's just minutes from my house? WIDE OPEN SPACES. And after driving about half and hour, we came to a beautiful area called the Putah Creek.

We had our picnic lunch and then walked down the trail

to this...

It was so peaceful. The water was pretty cold, but the kids had a great time playing and getting really dirty.

It was such a great spot that Adam asked Ron to baptize him right there. I ended up not getting any pictures because I was taking video the whole time, but here's Adam and his dog, before getting dunked.

I'm so thankful for the blessing of that day. The peace and quiet. The wide open spaces and feeling like we were away from everything. And getting to watch my husband baptize my oldest child.

• Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us,

• to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen.

Ephesians 3:20-21

Here's Tatum. She couldn't stand not being in the water with Ron and jumped right in.

center

This morning in church we sang a song by Chris Tomlin and Charlie Hall called "Center". I've sung the chorus over and over in my head all day, and have thought about how this has been my overwhelming desire lately, I just couldn't quite put words to my feelings. I've spent too much of my life making it all about me and then wondering why I'm not experiencing the relationship with the Lord that I want to be experiencing and know that I can be experiencing.

By God's grace, He has been slowly but surely chipping away at me, so there is more room for Him. Even though it's been painful, I'm so thankful for it.

Here is the chorus of the song. I changed a few of the words to personalize and make it my prayer to Him.

Christ, be the center of my life
Be the place I fix my eyes
Be the center of my life

prayer request

With a lump in my throat from looking at this picture, I'm asking you to pray that our house in Colorado would sell.

There is a showing tomorrow (Saturday) and my cry to the Lord is that this is it. That these are the people that He knows are supposed to be in this home.

This house was a wonderful home for us for five years and holds so many dear memories but, it's time for us to make new memories in a new place.

It would lift such a burden off our shoulders to have this house sold. It would be the confirmation that we really need right now that we did the right thing by moving here. It's been a bit of a roller coaster week, with many opportunities to rely on the Lord and keep our focus on Him and not ourselves, and it would just be such a sweet ending to the week to have an offer on the house.

Thank you so much for praying with me. May the Lord's will be done!

softball & blessings

This past weekend we drove down to San Jose to watch my uncle play in a senior softball tournament. He and his team-mates traveled all the way out here from New Jersey to compete. It was pretty impressive to see all these 70+ year old men running around the field. It was inspiring to say the least. We met my parents there at the game and then they came back to our house for the night. It was a whirlwind visit, but still good to see them.

At some point over the weekend I noticed a softening in my heart and my bad attitude fading away. Praise the LORD! He really helped me to take the focus off of me and put it back on Him where it belongs. He blessed me with two conversations Sunday morning that reminded me of how He's totally in control and often does things that, while they seem to us to be crazy and whirlwind and not good timing, He's still very much in it and is doing it for a reason. A reason that we may or may not ever know.

While I am still sad to have left what felt like home and I miss my friends terribly, I have a renewed excitement for what it is that God has for us here and I don't want to miss His blessings just because I'm being stubborn and crabby.

I have prayed many times over the last several months that we would know for sure that we are in His will and not making the wrong choice by moving. I was reading 1 Thessalonians this morning and was so encouraged to read this verse with a new perspective.

"Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus."

1 Thess. 5:16-18

I forget that He tells me right there in scripture what His will is for me. To always be joyful, praying and giving thanks. No matter what. It doesn't matter where I am, if I'm doing those things and keeping my eyes on Him, I'm in His will.

just plain ugly

I've got a bad attitude. A really bad one. It's been festering and I'm apparently not laying it down at the foot of the cross, even though I keep confessing it and telling the Lord that I don't want to hang on to it. That I want Him to take it away. Far, far away.

This morning I was reading the devotional Streams in the Desert (thank you Sarah Dawn for reminding me that I have that!) and I read this poem. I wish I could tell you that it knocked me upside the head and set my attitude straight. It didn't. God and I are still working on it. But it was very, very encouraging to me, especially the last paragraph, and I wanted to share it with you.

He giveth more grace when the burdens grow greater,

He sendeth more strength when the labors increase;

To added affliction He addeth His mercies,

To multiplied trials His multiplied peace.

When we have exhausted our store of endurance,

When our strength has failed ere the day is half done,

When we reach the end of our hoarded resources

Our Father's full giving is only begun.

His love has no limit, His grace has no measure,

His power no boundary known unto men;

For out of His infinite riches in Jesus

He giveth and giveth and giveth again.

Annie Johnson Flint

I'm so thankful that God has limitless love, mercy, grace and patience with me. I seem to be needing it in abundance these days.

speechless

I don't even know what to say, but had to post this picture that Kate took of Adam last night. They were running around being so goofy and super excited that I baked cookies and was making home made ice cream. Yeah, I totally flaked on dinner and made up for it with dessert. You get one or the other around here...

parlez vous francais?

My kids crack me up! They're playing Cranium Kabooki on the Wii in french. Too funny!

While their mother is messing with her blog when she should be feeding them lunch and getting ready for the meeting at the school she has in less than an hour.

Hmmm... somebody is doing a really good job at wasting time today!

restoration

Thank you all so much for your prayers and kind and encouraging words you've shared with me over this past week. God has heard and answered and I'm doing much better.

So much better in fact that I had the energy and motivation to unpack some more boxes, and guess what?! I have a family room! Woo Hoo! I should have taken a before picture to give you the perspective, but trust me, you wouldn't have known this room was here before. It was that bad.

I've spent quite a bit of time in the Psalms this past week and it's been exactly what I needed. There were many verses that really spoke to me and I jotted them down to help them stick a little better, but one in particular really hit me for some reason. It's Psalm 51:12 and it says,

"Restore to me the JOY of your salvation,

and uphold me with a willing spirit."

I'm so thankful that not only does the LORD give us the joy that can only come from Him, but He will bring it back to us when we cry out to Him.

Hope you all had a wonderful weekend. Here's to a new week, seeking the LORD and all He has for us.

"But for me it is good to be near God; I have made the Lord God my refuge..." Psalm 73:28

Orphan

Warner Bros. has just released a new horror movie called Orphan. It proclaims that it must be hard to love an adopted child as much as your own. Let me share with you some of my experiences and thoughts on orphans and adoption.

When I was thirteen years old a family from my parents church sent the youngest of their four children off to college and then had four more children through adoption. The first two that they brought home were sisters, aged three and six, that had been found in a dumpster. The three year old was in the Sunday school class that I helped in and she melted my heart immediately. I'm telling you, to this day, there is a hole in my heart the shape of a little girl from Korea. Their next two children were young brothers that were also from Korea.

The fact that this couple, at a stage in their life when most people consider themselves to be "free", chose to basically start over with another family of four children, just completely blew me away. I was somehow, at the age of thirteen, in awe of their complete selflessness. And it so touched me that I knew someday, in some way, God was going to have me be a part of the blessing of adoption. Looking back on this situation, with the little bit of wisdom I've gained over the years, I'm sure that life was not all peaches and cream for this couple and their four children. But what I'm assuming was an act of obedience to the Lord on their part, made a lasting impression on me.

Fast forward 20 some odd years - God brought us Mark. This child, this ball of energy and his creativity and enthusiasm and zest for life, his adoration of monkeys and tickles, this child that was prayed for and cried for, is the child that God knew was meant to be in our family. We have been so blessed by him and who God made him uniquely to be and is continuing to make him in to. We also have three biological children that are just as much of a blessing to our family. No more, no less.

I can wholeheartedly say that no, it is not hard to love an adopted child, and by the way, he is my own. Are there days that I'm frustrated and a little thrown for a loop? Absolutely! But those days can, and do, happen with each one of our children. It has nothing to do with how God chose to bring them to our family.

Children are always a blessing, no matter when and how they come in to your family. Some of them just might need a little more, or a lot more, patience, love and grace than others. Some of them have been through more in their short lives than any of us could ever imagine experiencing in our own. I don't believe that means we should turn our backs on them and write them off as a lost cause. I believe those are the children that need us more than anyone else, whether through prayer or adoption or whatever the Lord lays on our hearts.

To quote a fellow blogger,

I understand that many people will see Orphan as simply entertainment. The reality is, however, that we have over 147 million orphans worldwide in need of food, clothing, a home and a family. This movie has the potential of causing incredible parents to run away in fear, leaving yet another child alone and in need. I encourage others to think of what the world would be like if 147 million children grew up into poorly-adjusted adults. Now that, my Friend, would be truly horrifying.

"Long, long ago He decided to adopt us into His family through

Jesus Christ. (What pleasure He took in planning this.)"

Ephesians 1:5 MSG

keeping it real

"For the Lamb at the center of the throne will be their shepherd;

He will lead them to springs of living water.

And God will wipe away every tear from their eyes."

Revelation 7:17

One of my favorite bloggers will occasionally post pictures of the huge pile of laundry on her couch, the stack of dishes in her kitchen sink, or how she lost it with her kids. She'll call it "keeping it real". I love that she does that and it's probably why she's the blog that I've stuck in with the longest and have to check everyday. Who wants to always read blogs that seem to be written by people who have time to accomplish amazing crafts, in houses that are never dirty, are amazingly decorated, and are inhabited by children that never fight and always wear clothes that match? Not me! I find that I start to feel quite poorly about myself. Then I have to remind myself that I'm only seeing what they are choosing to show me. It reminds me of something that I heard a MOPS speaker say once that I will never forget. "We are very good at comparing our insides to other peoples outsides." I think blogs have the potential of being a good picture of that very thing.

So, why am I going off on all this? A friend of mine said this blog is like an "ongoing Christmas card of sorts". I love that! That's kind of why I'm doing this. But I don't want it to become one of those Christmas letters that makes you want to gag because all it talks about is how great everything is. You know the ones. At the same time, I don't want it to be a total downer. What I am going to do is keep it real and part of that is being honest about the fact that I'm really struggling right now. I wrote the following in an email that I sent to a friend and I think it sums up some of my "stuff".

I think there are probably several reasons I'm in a funk. One is probably that I've just crashed and burned from all that we've been dealing with for the last two years. Which is where the exhaustion comes in. It feels like it's just been non-stop and I can't handle any more. I find myself feeling a little fearful and on edge, just waiting for the next bomb to drop, which I know is NOT from the Lord, at all. Also, it's all the change. Moving and all the adjustment that comes with it is just the straw that broke the camels back. We've been trying to cope with all the new things that have been handed to us since we moved Ron's mom to CO two years ago, and each time, before we even had a chance to wrap our brain around what we were dealing with, it would all change and we'd be dealt a new challenge. So when I would normally be excited about a move and discovering a new place, I just want to curl up in a ball and cry. I SO needed to be able to just hunker down where I was and deal with all we had been through. And for the very first time ever in my life, I actually wanted to stay where I was and I knew that I had people there that loved me for who I was, had walked through the valley with me, and would continue to be there as I healed and processed through it all. It absolutely baffles me as to why God would choose to take us away from that. It honestly makes me wonder if we did the right thing. On the other hand, I know we are where He wants us, and I think part of why He moved me at this time is because I have a terrible habit of running to friends when I'm hurting and not to Him. He knows that I do that. That's another part of why I'm in a funk right now. Because I keep trying to do things on my own strength, even though I know I'm totally incapable of it. I think all anybody can do for me right now is to pray for me. Pray that I have the strength to get through the day, and that I keep running to HIM and not other people or things.

There you have it. The real me at the moment. And if you stuck with me all the way to this point in the post, God bless you for your patience and thanks for letting me share.

Now, I'm off to tackle my next post which is initiated by this. Go check it out and then hold me accountable to writing it. Believe it or not I loathe writing and am having a hard time coming up with the right words for that one. Probably because it's something that I'm so passionate about and I tend to get a little preachy and defensive when I feel so strongly about something. Not really the angle I want to take.