Breaking Free

For the past ten weeks I have been doing the Beth Moore bible study Breaking Free. It is probably the best study I have ever done. I'm sure part of that is because God knew it was what I needed during this season, but it also has challenged me in ways I've never been challenged before. It has been amazing and difficult all at the same time.

There have been many times I've wanted to share parts of the study, what I've learned, things Beth Moore said, but everything seemed kind of pulled out context when I would start to share just one part it. But this morning, as I was going over this last weeks homework, I read again two different parts that I had underlined and really wanted to share them. They're a little long, so bear with me. It's worth it!

"I believe God can use any motivation to get us into His Word and into prayer, but then I believe He wants to refine our motivations until they become first and foremost the desire for Him. My motivation for Bible study and prayer could still be all about me. Fix my circumstances, Lord. Use me powerfully, Lord. Direct me in obvious ways today, Lord. Make a way for me, Lord. Make me successful, Lord. Listen carefully: not one of those prayers is wrong. But if my motivation for my relationship with God is what He can do for me, a lust for His power may grow but a yearning for His Presence will not. God deeply desires to hear our petitions, but His greatest joy is to hear them flow from the mouths of those who want Him more than anything else He could give."

I don't know about you, but that hit me upside the head like a ton of bricks. If there's one thing that I continually have felt like God has been trying to tell me over the last 2 1/2 years, is that it's not about me. So many times I have prayed for Him to deliver me, guide me, make my life comfortable again, etc. and very, very few times have I just sought Him. Period. And isn't that really what so much of this life is all about?

This next part was another one of those things that I really needed to hear right now and am trying to stay focused on. Hopefully the point gets across, as I'm pulling it from a larger concept...

"Isaiah 40:31 offers the perfect prescription for former captives who sometimes get tired in their struggle to maintain freedom: Seek the presence of God and hang on to Him. Go where He goes and let Him fight for you. Invariably when we're most exhausted, we'll find we're expending more energy fighting the enemy than we are seeking God's presence. More than you seek to win, seek Christ! More than you seek to defeat the enemy, seek his Foe! More than you seek victory, seek the Victor! As you do, you are binding yourself to His presence and trusting God to carry you onto victory. You'll never be more beautiful to God than we He can look down and see you hanging on to Him for dear life!"

I had a very sweet and encouraging conversation with Kate's teacher yesterday where she reminded me that God never makes mistakes, He knows what He's doing and He absolutely can be trusted. We may never know why we were moved here for such a relatively short period of time, and we may never know the lives that were touched and the things that God accomplished through it. But as I step back, I am able to see lots of little things that I am so thankful for, and being a part of this Bible study the past ten weeks is definitely one of those things.

"Do you not know?

Have you not heard?

The Lord is the everlasting God,

the Creator of the ends of the earth.

He will not grow tired or weary,

and His understanding no one can fathom.

He gives strength to the weary

and increases the power of the weak.

Even youths grow tired and weary,

and young men stumble and fall;

but those who hope in the Lord

will renew their strength.

They will soar on wings like eagles;

they will run and not grow weary,

they will walk and not be faint."

Isaiah 40:28-31